Thank you Valerie Fernandez for introducing me to this poem when I woke up this morning. Waaaay worth the tear right when I opened my eyes from a goodnights rest. :) STAY STRONG SISTER BEAR.
“Young And Restless” by. Ruby Veridiano-Ching
It’s 4:43am. I can’t go back to sleep. Gen called me over an hour ago;
frustrated with the way her heart caves in the wrong direction. Help
me, Bing. I’m sinking. I’m half awake, fumbling with blankets and damp
sweats, trying my best to help her find sense. Truth is, I’m in the
dark too.
We’ve been friends twelve years. Watched each other grow from gawky
stances and lopsided hairdos into curves and sex appeal, into college
degrees and daily wisdom gathered mostly from estimates. I know we’re
getting old and she’s growing tired of uncertainty. Calls me at 3am
for answers, but the back of my throat still itches, scraping the
bottom of somewhere desperate to dig up the words I’ve misplaced
between the crevices of growth and transition. I don’t know what to
tell her except, “I feel you.”
We miss the days that we didn’t mind being alone. Being single used to
be so liberating. These days, that same freedom is suffocating. Gen,
I’m treading my legs just as hard to stay afloat, but girl, sometimes
I feel like I’m drowning too. My heart is heavy with longing. Is this
what being a woman means? It seems like everything hurts more knowing
my emotions are maturing. This grown up shit is complicated as hell,
and I’ve never been one to embrace patience. I spend most my days
longing for something, somebody.
I want to rescue her, but all I can do is console her with honesty,
offer her my vulnerability. I want to tell her I’m doing my best to
survive life’s current, that I live my days reminiscing the past and
anticipating the future so much I forget where I’ve put the present.
Maybe it will help her, maybe it won’t. But just maybe, she’ll know
she’s not alone, and we’ll hold each other down to keep us both
uplifted. I’m her anchor, she, my sanctuary.
